Summer 2000 — An eagle eye reported that the Uberhood’s leading therapist rushed over to the Goth mansion late one evening following the disaster that was the Goth-Lothario wedding party. The wedding started out as an ordinary backyard ceremony, and it was thought that the biggest news would be about the guest list. We were pleased to see the Mother of the Bride, the enigmatic Bella Goth in attendance. How touching that Bella didn’t let the fact that she is still estranged from her husband (or the fact that the groom-t0-be was implicated in her disappearance) stop her from being there on her daughter’s big day. Mortimer’s current paramour, Dina Caliente, must have been tipped off that the Lady Goth was attending because Miss Caliente was notably absent. Unfortunately, Bella’s effort to put in an appearance was to no avail. Guests confirmed that the would-be groom, Dr. Don Lothario, was noticeably distressed. He interrupted Cassandra right in the middle of her vows, and said “I don’t” before she could say “I do.” Awww, poor Cass. We know you’re hurting now, but you dodged a bullet, girl. A big one. And speaking of bullets… Don must have some brass ones to jilt a woman with a cemetery in her backyard.